THE LIST

This article is for the “picky” people who feel like no one is perfect for them. I may have an idea of what the problem is.

Most relationship Psychologists advise people searching for long term-partnerships to create “THE LIST” with as many revisions as possible. The principle of The List suggests for men and women to itemize traits and characteristics that they look for in a partner as ridiculous as it may be.

The aim is to restrict the amount of partners one goes through in an attempt to find a match. Psychologists reason that one has to meet at least 70% of the requirements enlisted as this allows for a fair selection process.

Many people have argued that “THE LIST” phenomenon is very restrictive and off-putting. They suggest that people should keep an open mind and let nature take its course. I think that is where the problem begins. If people are to keep an open mind to all partners, then I can argue that from the dating age of sixteen to the marriageable age they should have compiled a high dating list.

Consciously or subconsciously, we all have preferences; things, people or traits that we prefer more than the other and on some level, these preferences reveal themselves whether we wa

nt it to or not. For those who have not yet made their list, these tastes are buried deep within their minds and potential partners are judged by these unseen criteria. You should know how unfair this is. If you don’t know what you like, it is very hard to find something/someone that fits the blurry idea.

A major benefit of itemizing your tastes is to know what you like and then eventually cross out things that may be too harsh. For example, if you subconsciously hate partners who don’t type out messages properly, it is until you bring it to light that you can decide if it is fair or not. Especially is the person doesn’t sound the way they type.

Another major benefit is to know the areas that needs improving in your life. It is not fair to ask for a man with six pack when you are chubby or to ask for a woman who can cook when you cannot cook or provide for the preparation of the food. If you are not at least 70% of the list you have, then you need a new list.

Natural Selection has enabled us to survive thus far by selecting certain trait and attributes that promote species continuity. In line with that, you will only be obeying biology and selecting for a trait that will increase your happiness factor and thereby extend the life of your partnership. I don’t think anybody has the time to swim blindly through the diverse gene pool searching for a match.

Think about it, if you know what you like and what you are willing to tolerate, then the next person that fits the description should get your attention, no matter how your “heart” doesn’t feel it. We are creature capable of sharing emotions so it should be so hard to drop your guards and dive in, since you have found what should make you happy, right?

I would genuinely love to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks